Sunday, June 18, 2017

The grace of God and Luke

So its been awhile… Two years in fact… Life is still full of ups and downs… That’s the reality of the Bipolar/BPD life.
 Take this past week for instance… On my fourth date with the most beautiful man (Luke) we drove to Campbelltown and caught the train into the city for the Vivid Festival. I had not picked up that I had been hyper-manic for almost a week. I had been dealing with re-emergent trauma memories, a lack of sleep, lack of food, dehydration and finally, on the night we went to Vivid, I forgot to take my evening meds.
 But the grace of God was with me. In the form of Luke… He did not miss a beat. As my brain sped up, he kept pace. When I passed out in Circular Quay, he stayed calm and gentle, guiding me to a chair to safely pass out on and then onto the floor so that my heart rate could be restored. He joked and chatted with the paramedics all the way to St Vincent’s hospital and as my leg and chin tremored (most likely a virus triggered by dehydration) and became convinced that I had a brain tumour, he remained calm and gentle. He didn’t even bat an eyelid when I claimed to be an R.N. to the nurses and doctors caring for me!
 He guided me safely back onto the train out of Sydney on Thursday morning; took me to Shellharbour hospital for assessment (unbeknownst to me). I actually thought that being at Shellharbour ED was a process of proving to me that I wasn’t sick and didn’t need medication! Then he drove me gently home, all the while keeping pace with my break-neck mental speed.
 That night, as I was taken by ambulance to Shoalhaven ED for assessment and transfer to Mirrabook, I was high as a kite. I was convinced that my best friend was the Holy Spirit, that Luke was Jesus and that I was God… Thankfully, Luke had collapsed into bed at home and was recovering before a 12 hour shift (he’s a taxi driver).
 I met with my sister today, whom Luke had several conversations with over the course of 48hours while I was at my worst. Ames pointed out that this is as bad as I get and that if he could handle this then he could pretty much handle anything that my mental illness could dish out. I haven’t been this sick since my manic episode in 2012.
 The world is once again righting itself now that my sleep, energy and zeldox levels have been restored…

And Luke?

He’s sticking around for a while yet 😉

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